In a perfect world, writers could just sit in their underpants and just write. Grunge rock would NEVER have died and Taylor Swift would be able to sing live, but alas, it is not a perfect world. Soooooo, I am a writer and a hooker. Relax your cracks, I don’t hook my forty-blah-blah-blah body, no, that would be alarming on so many levels, plus I don’t think Hot Hubby would approve. I hook my books! WOOHOO!
I have a deal for you and it doesn’t include a bridge. It’s a FREEEEEE book! PIRATE DAVE AND HIS RANDY ADVENTURES (Career Ending Romance Spoof), the story so many of you lovingly threatened me to write, is FREEEEEE!
It’s an eyeball burning, wet-your-pants hot mess of a parody and I hope it will make you laugh.
I haven’t had so much fun writing anything. Ever. It’s not for the faint of heart and it’s NOT for anyone under 18. That being said, I think it’s hilarious on a very wrong level! If you’d like to singe your corneas, the links are at the bottom of the page. AND if you enjoy it or it makes you feel tingly or itchy, please leave a review. That’s part of my hooker talk. Sexy, right?
Here’s the blurb. Happy Reading! xoxo Robyn
PIRATE DAVE AND HIS RANDY ADVENTURES………….
After all was said and done, the disgusting novella meant to destroy a story stealing New York Time’s best-selling author’s career was successful. Rena Gunderschlict, an accountant with no discernible literary talent, and her band of adorable porno writing grannies came up with the worst piece of literature, (and I use that word loosely), that was ever written. Amazingly enough, it became a cult classic. Who in the hell knew there was an underground need to know and love a Time-Traveling Vampire Warlock with erectile dysfunction and his conjoined lady loves, Laverne and Shirley?
Apparently the need is there and now so is the full version of their story . . .
** Special Note from Author Robyn Peterman **
This is a spoof. A profane romance spoof not meant for anyone under 18. I was threatened lovingly and repeatedly by my readers to write the full version of Pirate Dave. He was born of the need to create a horrific career ending romance novel to destroy a really bad, nasty villainess . . . and Thank you Buddha in a tube top, it worked! I laughed my way through writing this and I hope you will enjoy this small slice of my warped brain. NO, this is not what I normally write, but I certainly had a good time penning it! If you want to read the real romance story, you’ll have to peruse HOW HARD CAN IT BE? You’ll find the first three chapters at the end of the hot mess you’re about to read . . . And now, I give you the career ending novella, (hopefully not mine) otherwise known as PIRATE DAVE AND HIS RANDY ADVENTURES. Check out my website for news on FASHIONABLY DEAD (coming August 2013) and the sequel to HOW HARD CAN IT BE? called SIZE MATTERS (available for pre order now!! YAY) http://www.robynpeterman.com
PIRATE DAVE Buy Links: