HOP ON MY BLOG!!!!! but take some dramamine first…..

by Robyn Peterman | Jul 19, 2013 | Uncategorized | 60 comments

FREE IS GOOD. JUST SAYIN’….AND PIRATE DAVE IS ONE HELL OF A DREAM MAN….

In a perfect world, writers could just sit in their underpants and just write. Grunge rock would NEVER have died and Taylor Swift would be able to sing live, but alas, it is not a perfect world. Soooooo, I am a writer and a hooker. Relax your cracks, I don’t hook my forty-blah-blah-blah body, no, that would be alarming on so many levels, plus I don’t think Hot Hubby would approve. I hook my books! WOOHOO!

I have a deal for you and it doesn’t include a bridge. It’s a FREEEEEE book! PIRATE DAVE AND HIS RANDY ADVENTURES (Career Ending Romance Spoof), the story so many of you lovingly threatened me to write, is FREEEEEE!

It’s an eyeball burning, wet-your-pants hot mess of a parody and I hope it will make you laugh.

I haven’t had so much fun writing anything. Ever. It’s not for the faint of heart and it’s NOT for anyone under 18. That being said, I think it’s hilarious on a very wrong level! If you’d like to singe your corneas, the links are at the bottom of the page. AND if you enjoy it or it makes you feel tingly or itchy, please leave a review. That’s part of my hooker talk. Sexy, right?

Here’s the blurb. Happy Reading! xoxo Robyn

PIRATE DAVE AND HIS RANDY ADVENTURES………….

After all was said and done, the disgusting novella meant to destroy a story stealing New York Time’s best-selling author’s career was successful. Rena Gunderschlict, an accountant with no discernible literary talent, and her band of adorable porno writing grannies came up with the worst piece of literature, (and I use that word loosely), that was ever written. Amazingly enough, it became a cult classic. Who in the hell knew there was an underground need to know and love a Time-Traveling Vampire Warlock with erectile dysfunction and his conjoined lady loves, Laverne and Shirley?

Apparently the need is there and now so is the full version of their story . . .

** Special Note from Author Robyn Peterman **

This is a spoof. A profane romance spoof not meant for anyone under 18. I was threatened lovingly and repeatedly by my readers to write the full version of Pirate Dave. He was born of the need to create a horrific career ending romance novel to destroy a really bad, nasty villainess . . . and Thank you Buddha in a tube top, it worked! I laughed my way through writing this and I hope you will enjoy this small slice of my warped brain. NO, this is not what I normally write, but I certainly had a good time penning it! If you want to read the real romance story, you’ll have to peruse HOW HARD CAN IT BE? You’ll find the first three chapters at the end of the hot mess you’re about to read . . . And now, I give you the career ending novella, (hopefully not mine) otherwise known as PIRATE DAVE AND HIS RANDY ADVENTURES. Check out my website for news on FASHIONABLY DEAD (coming August 2013) and the sequel to HOW HARD CAN IT BE? called SIZE MATTERS (available for pre order now!! YAY) http://www.robynpeterman.com

PIRATE DAVE Buy Links:

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Pirate-Adventures-Career-Romance-ebook/dp/B00CYRH3H0/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1369417846&sr=8-3&keywords=robyn+peterman

KOBO: http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Pirate-Dave-his-Randy-Adventures/book-MJ4XOTuZwUyMGFagcCEH8A/page1.html?s=-xl1hoUYdkWEoFXO3yZ8Bw&r=2

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/319011

More to come!!!

A Midsummer Night’s Dream-Man
A JustRomance.me Bloghop

60 Comments

Pimpin' Reads on July 19, 2013 at 2:48 pm

Your covers are AWESOMESAUCE and so are your books. <3 😉
Reply
- ajcarmic on July 19, 2013 at 2:51 pm
  
  You are awesomesauce too!!! Luurrve you! xoxo Robyn
  Reply
Diana Merritt on July 19, 2013 at 2:49 pm

Love your books!
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- ajcarmic on July 19, 2013 at 2:54 pm
  
  Thanks Diana!! Thanks for stopping by! xoxo robyn
  Reply
Rhonda D on July 19, 2013 at 3:19 pm

Thanks for participating in this awesome hop!
Slinkydennis@yahoo.com
Reply
- ajcarmic on July 19, 2013 at 3:21 pm
  
  Thanks for stopping by, Rhonda!!
  Reply
Andrea I on July 19, 2013 at 4:40 pm

I look forward to reading your books. I love your covers.

ainfinger at Comcast dot net
Reply
- ajcarmic on July 19, 2013 at 4:41 pm
  
  Thanks Andrea!! AND thanks for stopping by!
  Reply
Jody Faltys on July 19, 2013 at 4:53 pm

Thanks for posting this and being part of the Hop! Can't wait to read more of Pirate Dave!

joderjo402 AT gmail DOT com
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- ajcarmic on July 19, 2013 at 6:43 pm
  
  Thanks Jody!! Dave has penciled you in for a date on Tuesday.
  Reply
clivingston on July 19, 2013 at 4:57 pm

looks like an awesome read! added to my TBR for sure! mygirls01@yahoo.com
Reply
- ajcarmic on July 19, 2013 at 6:44 pm
  
  Thanks and thanks for stopping by!!!
  Reply
Steph from fangswandsandfairydust.com on July 19, 2013 at 4:57 pm

I keep hearing about this pirate book – I have to check it out!
steph(AT)fangswandsandfairydust.com
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- ajcarmic on July 19, 2013 at 6:44 pm
  
  Thanks Steph!!! Dave is always looking to add to his harem!!
  Reply
Jean MP on July 19, 2013 at 5:07 pm

What great looking covers,
look forward to reading your books.
skpetal at hotmail dot com
Reply
- ajcarmic on July 19, 2013 at 6:45 pm
  
  Thanks Jean! Hope you enjoy them and thanks for stopping by!
  Reply
Nicola Woodhouse on July 19, 2013 at 6:34 pm

Sounds absolutely hilarious. I'm hooked for sure. Dave's on my TBR list, along with the rest of your books.
nswoodhouse at yahoo dot co dot uk
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- ajcarmic on July 19, 2013 at 6:45 pm
  
  Thanks Nicola, Dave has penciled you in for Saturday!!
  Reply
oldlady44 on July 20, 2013 at 2:04 am

Robin met you at RAGT had so much fun.have put you on my to read list.
Reply
- ajcarmic on July 20, 2013 at 4:47 am
  
  Back at ya!!! Thanks for stopping by!!!
  Reply
Jeanette Platt on July 20, 2013 at 2:56 am

So love your cover and I know what book i am reading tonight 🙂 Thank you for the freebie I know i am gonna laugh my butt off. Thanks for being part of the hop.

j.m.platt83@gmail.com
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- ajcarmic on July 20, 2013 at 4:48 am
  
  Jeanette, Dave has penciled you in for monday!
  Reply
Alianne on July 20, 2013 at 3:11 am

Thanks for the book! I love a good comedy so I will definitely check it out. =)
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- ajcarmic on July 20, 2013 at 4:48 am
  
  Thanks, Alianne!! Thanks for stopping by!!
  Reply
flchen1 on July 20, 2013 at 5:37 am

Sounds like a hoot, Robyn–and we can always use more laughs 😉
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- ajcarmic on July 20, 2013 at 8:14 am
  
  Thanks! I hope I make you laugh!!
  Reply
Jennifer Mathis on July 20, 2013 at 5:51 am

i love spoofs
meandi09@yahoo.com
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- ajcarmic on July 20, 2013 at 8:14 am
  
  Me too! Thanks for stopping by!
  Reply
Yvette on July 20, 2013 at 1:44 pm

Love the book covers!
Yvette
yratpatrol@aol.com
Reply
- ajcarmic on July 20, 2013 at 2:54 pm
  
  Thanks, Yvette and thanks for stopping by!!
  Reply
Emma on July 20, 2013 at 1:52 pm

Can't wait to read more about Pirate Dave!
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- ajcarmic on July 20, 2013 at 2:54 pm
  
  Emma, Dave will pencil you in for Wednesday!
  Reply
taraquan.com on July 20, 2013 at 2:01 pm

I LOVE your cover.
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- ajcarmic on July 20, 2013 at 2:53 pm
  
  Thanks, Tara!!! Glad you stopped by!
  Reply
Cassandra on July 20, 2013 at 4:08 pm

I want to read your books so bad now 🙂
dixiedukegurl2 AT yahoo DOT com
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- ajcarmic on July 20, 2013 at 7:16 pm
  
  YAY!! Thanks Cassandra, you made my day!!
  Reply
Mary Yakovets on July 20, 2013 at 9:38 pm

I never thought I'd find another person with the same sense of humor I have…until I found Dave's asswaffle. Wow. Warped adolescent boy humor in grown women is dangerous!
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- ajcarmic on July 21, 2013 at 5:55 am
  
  I luuurrve you Mary and Dave has penciled you in for Thursday!!
  Reply
Angela Love on July 20, 2013 at 10:03 pm

Thank You for the giveaway and LOVE the covers!!!!

angelalove@uwmail.com
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- ajcarmic on July 21, 2013 at 5:55 am
  
  Thanks for stopping by Angela!!
  Reply
Nay Nay on July 20, 2013 at 11:25 pm

Love your covers. Just picked up Pirate Dave and can't wait to start reading it. Thanks for being part of the hop and for the chance to win. <^_^>
reneebennett35 (at) yahoo (dot) com
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- ajcarmic on July 21, 2013 at 5:56 am
  
  Love your name, Nay Nay!! Thanks for stopping by!!
  Reply
Beth on July 21, 2013 at 4:20 am

Pirate Dave sounds like a real fun read. Will have to add it to the TBR list(which is soooo loooong right now).

carolcobun @ yahoo.com
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- ajcarmic on July 21, 2013 at 5:56 am
  
  YAY! Thanks for stopping by!
  Reply
angelblue240 on July 21, 2013 at 6:16 am

I loved Pirate Dave! 🙂
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- ajcarmic on July 21, 2013 at 6:17 am
  
  And Pirate Dave loves you. He has penciled you in for Monday!!
  Reply
Belinda G on July 21, 2013 at 11:06 am

I love your playful, fun loving, handsome characters both in your book and on the covers. Very creative. Your sense of humor is intoxicating! However, you are right the book blurbs are scorchers! Whew…

They look like great reads! Thanks for sharing.

Belinda G
belgre at Comcast dot net
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- ajcarmic on July 22, 2013 at 2:51 pm
  
  Thanks Belinda!! Dave has pencilled you in for next Monday!
  Reply
Kimberly Mayberry on July 21, 2013 at 2:54 pm

I just love these covers! I already downloaded Pirate Dave a while ago, and it is patiently waiting for me to read it. I have the rest of your books on my TBR list, too! Thank you for being in the HOP! kbinmich@yahoo.com
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- ajcarmic on July 22, 2013 at 2:50 pm
  
  Thanks for stopping by!!! Hope you enjoy my books!!
  Reply
JoAnna on July 21, 2013 at 7:27 pm

Thanks for the free read. Sounds funny!

beckerjo at verizon dot net
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- ajcarmic on July 22, 2013 at 2:49 pm
  
  You're welcome!! Thanks for stopping by!!
  Reply
Jen B. on July 21, 2013 at 9:35 pm

Alright, you have sold me! I am going to get Pirate Dave and give it a read. I am looking forward to wetting my pants! jepebATverizonDOTnet
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- ajcarmic on July 22, 2013 at 2:49 pm
  
  Hope you enjoy!!! Thanks for stopping by!!!
  Reply
JM on July 21, 2013 at 9:55 pm

Funniest damn book I've ever read, and she has more coming! SO worth the click!
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- ajcarmic on July 22, 2013 at 2:46 pm
  
  Jennifer…you are my sunshine.
  Reply
Kathleen Dubois on July 21, 2013 at 10:48 pm

I love Robyn's Books!!! Read How Hard Can It Be and just loved reading the actual story of Pirate Dave! Hysterical!
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- ajcarmic on July 22, 2013 at 2:46 pm
  
  Luurrve you Kathy!!!
  Reply
Shelley Chastagner on July 22, 2013 at 3:36 am

I LOVE your covers!
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- ajcarmic on July 22, 2013 at 3:57 am
  
  I love you! Thanks for stopping by!!!!
  Reply