The crazy, mixed-up tale of how my first
book came to be – also known as, WTF? 
I’m getting published.
I’ve been asked how I got published. The answer is simple…I lied. That’s right, I lied.
I wouldn’t recommend it, although it worked for me. It certainly could have blown up in my face, but wether it was sheer will and determination or dumb luck, I’ll never know. Here’s how it went…
     I pitched a very unfinished novel (as if it were done) to major NY publishers and agents at the Romantic Times writers conference in Chicago last April. I was shocked, delighted and appalled that everyone I pitched to asked for a full manuscript of HOW HARD CAN IT BE? After a brief and hopefully unnoticeable panic attack, I very logically explained to them that I needed to get the book professionally edited (real meaning–write it) and would have it to them in three weeks. What the hell did I have to lose? My sanity had been gone for years.
     Having been an actor for umpteen decades came in handy. Clearly, pretending to smell delicious imaginary aromas in commercial auditions and becoming one with my inner lawn gnome in acting class, made my fear of telling ginormous lies nonexistent.
     The next part of the story goes like this…I went home and wrote it. I didn’t sleep for three weeks, my family ate a lot of peanut butter and jelly and no one in the house had any clean underpants. I loved every minute of it. I ended up with several offers and went with a two book deal with Kensington Publishing. The sequel, SIZE MATTERS comes out December 2013!
    That’s my crazy story, but the real answer to getting published is to write. Just write. Everyday. Every writer I’ve had the good fortune to know says the same thing. Oh, and read…tons.
And the story gets better!!!! 
Cut to last week….Just found out I got a 4 Star review for HOW HARD CAN IT BE? in RT Magazine!!! I screamed when my publisher sent me a congrats! RT (Romantic Times) is, of course, where it all started for me. The wonderful and magical place where I pitched the big fat hairy lie that turned into a two book deal with Kensington! 
Thank you to my new readers who think my characters are actually real people and have written me to find out what they’re doing now.
Thank you to the gal who has offered me her children to get to read the sequel story before it comes out next December!
Thank you to the lady who wrote me and told me I should wash my mouth out with soap while promising to read everything I ever write!
Thank you to the woman who asked me if I’d spent time in an institution, because my brain was so warped! She also promised to read everything I ever write! 
Enough of that….just Thank you! Please keep reading!
****AND for all of you that have read HOW HARD CAN IT BE? and have lovingly threatened me for PIRATE DAVE AND HIS RANDY ADVENTURES…I have written it!!! It will come out the end of May and will possibly end my career. It’s the profane novel within the novel of HOW HARD CAN IT BE? that ruins the career of a NY Times best-selling author who’s been stealing the ideas from some adorable porno-writing grannies for years!! Look for Pirate Dave, the time-traveling vampire warlock with erectile disfunction and his conjoined loves, Laverne and Shirley! COMING IN MAY! For Freeeeeeeee!!
“A zany over-the-top rompfest.” – LEXI GEORGE, author of Demon Hunting in a Dive Bar
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