The crazy, mixed-up tale of how my first
book came to be – also known as, WTF?
I’m getting published.
I’ve been asked how I got published. The answer is simple…I lied. That’s right, I lied.
I wouldn’t recommend it, although it worked for me. It certainly could have blown up in my face, but wether it was sheer will and determination or dumb luck, I’ll never know. Here’s how it went…
I pitched a very unfinished novel (as if it were done) to major NY publishers and agents at the Romantic Times writers conference in Chicago last April. I was shocked, delighted and appalled that everyone I pitched to asked for a full manuscript of HOW HARD CAN IT BE? After a brief and hopefully unnoticeable panic attack, I very logically explained to them that I needed to get the book professionally edited (real meaning–write it) and would have it to them in three weeks. What the hell did I have to lose? My sanity had been gone for years.
Having been an actor for umpteen decades came in handy. Clearly, pretending to smell delicious imaginary aromas in commercial auditions and becoming one with my inner lawn gnome in acting class, made my fear of telling ginormous lies nonexistent.
The next part of the story goes like this…I went home and wrote it. I didn’t sleep for three weeks, my family ate a lot of peanut butter and jelly and no one in the house had any clean underpants. I loved every minute of it. I ended up with several offers and went with a two book deal with Kensington Publishing. The sequel, SIZE MATTERS comes out December 2013!
That’s my crazy story, but the real answer to getting published is to write. Just write. Everyday. Every writer I’ve had the good fortune to know says the same thing. Oh, and read…tons.
And the story gets better!!!!
Cut to last week….Just found out I got a 4 Star review for HOW HARD CAN IT BE? in RT Magazine!!! I screamed when my publisher sent me a congrats! RT (Romantic Times) is, of course, where it all started for me. The wonderful and magical place where I pitched the big fat hairy lie that turned into a two book deal with Kensington!
Thank you to my new readers who think my characters are actually real people and have written me to find out what they’re doing now.
Thank you to the gal who has offered me her children to get to read the sequel story before it comes out next December!
Thank you to the lady who wrote me and told me I should wash my mouth out with soap while promising to read everything I ever write!
Thank you to the woman who asked me if I’d spent time in an institution, because my brain was so warped! She also promised to read everything I ever write!
Enough of that….just Thank you! Please keep reading!
****AND for all of you that have read HOW HARD CAN IT BE? and have lovingly threatened me for PIRATE DAVE AND HIS RANDY ADVENTURES…I have written it!!! It will come out the end of May and will possibly end my career. It’s the profane novel within the novel of HOW HARD CAN IT BE? that ruins the career of a NY Times best-selling author who’s been stealing the ideas from some adorable porno-writing grannies for years!! Look for Pirate Dave, the time-traveling vampire warlock with erectile disfunction and his conjoined loves, Laverne and Shirley! COMING IN MAY! For Freeeeeeeee!!
“A zany over-the-top rompfest.” – LEXI GEORGE, author of Demon Hunting in a Dive Bar
You can order HOW HARD CAN IT BE? at these awesome places!!
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Need to read your first book! It sounds hysterical!
Thanks Tracy!! Hope you luuurrrve it!!
Oh my goodness, I bet the house looked like a disaster zone after you emerged from your three week hiatus into the land of writing… I would have been a nervous wreck.
Thanks for sharing your story and one that I really need to read 🙂
Beckey, you are sooooo correct! My house resembled my brain….a jumbled mess! Glad my story helped!! I wouldn't recommend my method, but I also wouldn't change a thing!!! Thanks for stopping by!!
wow what a story, wild and crazy for sure. Thanks for being a part of the hop. Carin mawmom at gmail dot com
Thanks for stopping by, Carin!!! I like the way you spell your name!!
Congrats Robyn on the great review from RT! You and the book deserve it. It is a 5 in my heart and I will continue to recommend it to everyone I know and meet. Take care.
Mel, you are a favorite of mine!!! Thank you for loving what I write! You make me happy and want to write more!!! xoxo
I have How Hard Can It Be on my wishlist. Now I gotta add Pirate Dave and His Randy Adventures to it too. I Would love to read them both. Thanks for being part of the hop and for the chance to win. <^_^>
reneebennett35 (at) yahoo (dot) com
Renee, I'm so thrilled to hear that!! Thanks for stopping by! it's nice to "see" you again!!!!!
LOL this whole post made me laugh. I'll be checking out your 1st bk so I can enjoy the Pirate one coming in May!
YAY!! Thanks Sasha! I'm always a little afraid I'll run people off with my crazy!! Hope you enjoy it and thanks for stopping by!
I haven't read HOW HARD CAN IT BE?, but after your post I am on my way to get it. I just love crazy, insane people. So I must read your books…LOL
koonie2888 at yahoo dot com
Michelle, you have made my night!! Hope you enjoy it!!
I love your sense of humor! I can only imagine what the book is like. LOL Humor in a love story is always pleasant to read. I got How Hard Can It Be on my TBR list.
Thanks for the opportunity!
belgre AT comcast DOT net
Thanks Belinda! I'm glad you stopped by!!
Wow that took guts. Kudos and huge congrats on all the good news =) I wish you much success in the future.
Happy Earth Day!
Thanks Alianne! SO happy you stopped by!!
great post! 🙂 mygirls01(@)yahoo.com
Thanks! And thanks for stopping by!!
Wow, Robyn! That's great bluffing skills on your part, and mad writing to follow! Congrats on the positive reviews–looking forward to reading for myself!
f dot chen at comcast dot net
Thank you!! Some might call me crazy, but I stand by my nuttiness! Hope you enjoy the book and thanks for stopping by!
How Hard Can It Be? sounds like a fun read. I definitely want to read it!
Thanks Cheralyn!! I certainly enjoyed writing it and hope you enjoy reading it!! Thanks for stopping by!
The stories sound hilarious. Porno writing grannies, I must read
YAY!!! Thanks Sheri! Hope you enjoy it and thanks for stopping by!!
Best post of the hop, I laughed so hard I read your post to my husband to enjoy to 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
Awesome!! Glad I made you laugh!! Thanks for stopping by!
Congrats on your road to publication!
joderjo402 AT gmail DOT com
Thanks Joder! And thanks for stopping by!
Cant wait to read your book – how hard can it be , it sounds great!
I can't wait to read Pirate Dave 🙂
manning_J2004 at yahoo dot com
Thanks June and Hannah!!! Hope you enjoy it!! I will never be the same after writing it!
That's a very inspirational story. Congrats!
Thanks Tara! And thanks for stopping by!
I can't wait to read this book!
susanmplatt AT Hotmail DOT com
YAY!! Thanks Susan! Hope you enjoy it!
OMG lol… Your post is totally awesome… I am putting your book on my TBR list… It sounds like a funny as hell book.
Thanks Jeanette! Hope you enjoy it!
hehe i love your sense of humor! Im so happy for you! Congrats on all of your success! Many blessings! 🙂 Your book sounds awesome!