How Hard Can it Be (On the Prairie?)
Welcome to News Year’s Eve! A time for family, hot cocoa by the warm hearth, and listening to Pa play Auld Lang Syne on his fiddle soft and low for Ma, Mary and me while we knit warm woolen socks, brush each other’s hair and dream of only good things in our little house.
Laura Ingalls Wilder and I have a different take on New Years Eve. While Laura is sipping cocoa, I’m chugging White Trash Yumminess (also known as Mike’s Hard Lemonade!) while lamenting over the shear volume of pecan brittle (courtesy of my mother-in-law) I’ve consumed that added to my ass. Not to mention the fact I didn’t send Christmas cards again this year, which all lands me squarely on the Naughty List.
Yes, New Years’s Eve was a simpler time on the prairie, or maybe we tend to torture ourselves more these days. I would like to point out that even though I write naughty and she wrote nice, Ms. Ingalls Wilder and I do have a few things in common. She writes the great wilderness scene and I write great sex scenes. Because of his seductive name, we will assume Almanzo, her husband, was smokin’ hot – like mine. And anyone who has “wild” as a part of their surname gets points in my book. Laura loved her family so much, she wrote about them. I love my family so much that I will never write about them. Finally, she’s a published author. I am a published author, HELL YEAH!*
That’s right. I am soon to be a published author, HELL YEAH!* and HOW HARD CAN IT BE? comes out January 17, 2013. The book is available for pre-sale right now at Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Those links are provided below. If you’d like to help me crawl up the charts, go to Amazon and “like” my book. Then scroll to the bottom of my book page and tag it. It’s free and it will put my book high on the lists. You can also follow me on Facebook and Twitter if you’d like to see absurdity at its finest. I’m quite certain Laura pimped her book, just like I am, out on the prairie.
In all seriousness, I do love this time of year and amid the craziness that we always seem to create for ourselves, I always witness amazing kindnesses. So I will channel Laura Ingalls Wilder and say, focus on all the wonderful things in your life this season and be thankful. I am thankful for the wonderful family I have. I am thankful for the joy my children give me on Christmas morning. I am thankful for my mother-in-law’s pecan brittle which adds pounds to my ass. And, I am thankful my hot husband is an ass man.
Merry Christmas everyone. Buy my book.
*The New Author handbook states: It is expected and required for new authors to shout, “HELL YEAH!” after saying or writing the words, “published author.”
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?”A zany over-the-top rompfest.” – LEXI GEORGE, author of Demon Hunting in a Dive Bar
You can pre-order at Amazon or Barnes and Noble!!!